


Englishman in New York

by captainnperfecthair



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Bisexual Roxy, Eggsy & Roxy Bromance, Eggsy SINGS, Eggsy is a Little Shit, F/F, F/M, Gen, Lesbian Character, Poor Merlin, all the gay here, in which Eggsy sings jazz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9299687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainnperfecthair/pseuds/captainnperfecthair
Summary: What happens when Eggsy and the team take on the modern Bonnie and Clyde? Or should we say Bonnie and Connie?AKA: That one mission where Eggsy sings at a jazz club.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation with some friends about Taron's role in the movie Sing and how we need a canon scene where Eggsy sings at a club of some sort. We figured his voice is pretty well-suited for jazz, and so this fic was born!
> 
> The song Eggsy is singing, and the song this fic is named after, is Sting's Englishman in New York. You can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d27gTrPPAyk
> 
> I've never written a Kingsman fic before, so hopefully I did the characters justice!
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think!

The backstage of Ella’s is bustling with activity, which makes it rather perfect for a spy to blend in but rather unsuitable for a spy to keep an eye on his target. She doesn’t stay in one place for long, being the owner of the club, and it’s becoming rather frustrating.

 

But at last, shouldering past a few scurrying stage hands, Eggsy Unwin gets close enough where he can call out to her and actually initiate a conversation. Except he does it just as she hisses into her headset, _“I need a singer and I need one NOW”_ and the ending result is that the delivery of those words falls rather flat as she spins around and sees Eggsy.

 

She collects herself within seconds and the panic turns into barely concealed frustration and impatience. “Unless you happen to be a performer interested in saving our ass and performing tonight, I’m not interested in talking to you right now, hon.” She pauses, and Eggsy calculates he has less than 30 seconds to figure out how to answer her before he loses her attention. And with it, his chances of succeeding in this mission.

 

“As a matter of fact,” he begins smoothly, though his heart is racing in his chest because what in **_fuck’s_ ** name is he _agreeing_ to?

 

 _“Say yes, dammit,”_ he hears Merlin say through the comm link in his ear.

 

Eggsy flashes his most confident, dazzling smile. “I am. Sean Baron here to save the day, ma’am.”

 

Brie’s face instantly changes. Her lips stretch into their own disarming smile full of grace and charm. She offers a delicate hand. “Ma’am’s my mother, darling. I’m Brie.”

 

He takes her hand and kisses it, her eyes dead focused on his. “An honor and a pleasure.”

 

“My, a proper gentleman, you are,” she remarks. “Well, it seems I’m rather indebted to you Mr. Baron.”

 

“Please, I should be thanking you for the chance to sing at this very fine establishment of yours. And if I’m calling you Brie, you’re certainly not calling me Mr. Baron. It’s Sean.”

 

“As you wish, darling. Now, come along with me. I’ll show you where your ready room is so you can practice before going on, which is in…” she glances at her watch, “twenty-eight minutes.”

 

“Lead the way,” Eggsy says, gesturing with a hand for her to take the lead. Instead of stepping ahead of him like any other host would, she winds an arm around his shoulder and places a hand on his chest, patting it softly, and guides him off the stage and down the hall.

 

She parts ways with him once she shows him his room, but not before she gives him a kiss on the cheek and grazes a finger or two through his hair. “I look forward to your performance. I’ll see you after the show.” With a promising wink over the shoulder, Brie Laurens is gone.

 

“Very _nice, Eggsy,”_ Merlin slyly comments.

 

 _“I think she_ likes _you, Egs,”_ Roxy adds.

 

“Oi, I didn’t ask for no peanut gallery, thanks,” He mutters. “But of course she did, Rox. Who doesn’t like me?” he smugly retorts.

 

_“I’ve been constructing a list, actually, if you’d like to see it.”_

 

 _“Really?”_ Merlin asks from his end of the line.

 

“And I thought we were friends,” Eggsy grumbles, feigning wounded betrayal.

 

About twenty-five minutes later, Eggsy finds himself leaving his room to get on stage.

 

Applause, like a distant rumbling of thunder, breaks through the thick velvet curtains behind which Eggsy Unwin stands awaiting his debut on the stage of Ella’s. With a final tug at the tails of his suit and a hand through his hair, he let the curtains divide themselves and introduce him to the crowd waiting before him.

 

 _“Best of luck, Galahad,”_ Merlin says through the comm in his ear. Eggsy gives a minute nod of acknowledgement as he steps up to the mic glowing beneath the spotlight.

 

 _“Knock ‘em dead,”_ He hears Roxy murmur. The last thing he hears before he tunes out the comms completely and focuses on the task ahead: his performance.

 

Behind him, the band behind him begins to play, leading beautifully into Eggsy’s entrance. And with a deep breath and a disarming smile aimed at a young lady at the front of the crowd, he sings.

 

_“I don’t drink coffee, I drink tea, my dear.”_

 

And as he sings, his eyes adjust to the dim lighting and he’s able to look out into the crowd and really _see_ who it consists of. To find Roxy and her target amongst the crowd. Not a bad idea to keep an eye on them even if Roxy is more than capable of handling her task in this mission by herself. Eggsy has found it’s always best to keep a sharp eye. After all, Roxy’s target is Brie Laurens’ arch enemy. And if Brie’s rival is here, then trouble isn’t far behind.

 

**_\-- Kingsman Headquarters:_ One Week Earlier _\--_**

 

_“Maureen McKay. British, age 29, and an accomplished and infamous international criminal.”_

 

_Eggsy lets out a low whistle. Merlin shoots him a glare. “Sorry, but you gotta admit she’s well fit, Merlin.”_

 

_Merlin’s glare darkens, and Eggsy silences himself._

 

_“I second Eggsy,” Roxy suddenly pipes up, utterly serious. Merlin’s glare turns into an absolute scowl. Roxy throws her hands up in surrender. “Just saying. Continue, Merlin, we’re sorry.”_

 

_Merlin continues, and when he turns his back to change the slides on his presentation Eggsy grins over at Roxy and winks._

 

_“As I was saying, McKay is an international crime boss, but she once had a partner, one Brie Laurens.” The presentation switches slides from a picture of McKay to one of Laurens._

 

_“You sure know how to pick ‘em, Merlin,” Eggsy remarks lewdly._

 

_“Eggsy,” the senior agent warns, and Eggsy mimes zipping his mouth shut before the other man wordlessly returns to the briefing._

 

_At the end of it, Eggsy cannot believe this mission is real._

 

 _“You mean we’re on a mission to stop two women, once lovers and partners in a leading international crime organization who are now rival criminals, from trying to outdo each other because the Statesman Agency is too inept to handle it themselves?” The dubious look on Roxy’s face as she talks makes Eggsy want to laugh, but not as much as how ridiculous and, at the same time_ totally _awesome, this all sounds._

 

_“Well…” Merlin says hesitantly, “Yes, although to be fair these ladies are quite the handful. Check your mission briefings.”_

 

_Eggsy picks up the manila folder on the table and begins to scan through it. “Bloody hell, these broads sure have been busy…”_

 

_Roxy’s brow lifts in further incredulity as she reads her own copy of the file. “One of them stole the crown jewels of Iran!”_

 

_“And a week later the other one stole the fucking crown jewels of Russia! Christ.”_

 

_“Check out what they did before they became rivals,” Merlin suggests, and the both of them flip through the briefing._

 

_“They were like a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde…’cept gayer,” Eggsy says with a laugh. “Bonnie and Connie,” he wittily supplies, and Merlin and Roxy both roll their eyes. Eggsy pouts. “Humorless couple of stiffs you are.”_

 

**_\-- Ella’s Jazz Club, New York City, USA:_ Present Day _\--_**

 

Word reached Kingsman about a week ago that the two notorious criminals were back in America. Brie’s been in America for several months, but Maureen arrived in NYC nine days ago. With them both in America, and now in the same place, it seems Maureen is either planning something against Brie or that Brie has lured her here somehow.

 

At the moment, it doesn’t seem likely that Brie is the one planning anything given her concern over finding a performer, but for all Eggsy knows it could be an award-winning performance to make everyone think otherwise. It’s up to Roxy to figure out if McKay is the one plotting anything. As Eggsy entertains the crowd, she’s the one who will be charming her way into McKay’s company for the night to keep an eye on her.

 

It doesn’t seem like it’ll be hard, as many in the crowd tonight seem to have _their_ eyes on Roxy, who is strutting her way across the back of the room, serving a round of drinks to a booth tucked away discreetly in the corner. Not that he can see her as anything more than a friend, a confident, and a fellow agent--a brilliant one, at that--but Eggsy has to admit she looks stunning.

 

Maureen McKay has noticed his fellow Kingsman, too. All eyes in her party of compatriots turn their heads when she arrives in front of them, but Maureen’s eyes linger. Eggsy can already see she’s taken note of his friend.

 

_“You see me walking down Fifth Avenue, a walking cane here at my side. I take it everywhere I walk.”_

 

Roxy gives the group a dazzling smile, tucking a strand of hair that has escaped the updo she has styled her hair into for the assignment. And that is all it takes before the lady of the booth, Maureen, waves an elegant hand to indicate that his fellow Kingsman join them.

 

Smoothing her long dress behind her as she sits down, Roxy takes a seat beside another woman at the end of the booth. He wishes he could hear what they’re saying, but he knows that they’re only making idle chat for the moment.

 

As he enters the chorus, Eggsy’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd, winking at a lady or two and really selling the performance.

 

 _“If manners maketh man as someone said…”_ he sings, beginning the next verse of the song as his eyes once again land on the table where Roxy sits. Maureen has reached a hand out to grab Roxy’s, leaning toward her with an intrigued and rather predatory look in her eyes. They’re talking intently, and Eggsy can see Rox has gotten to the part of the conversation where she’s got to try to win over the subject. In the Biblical sense.

 

It seems like she won’t have to try very hard.

 

_“He's the hero of the day.”_

 

Maureen makes a gesture to the people separating them and the people on Roxy’s side of the booth, including Roxy herself, scoot out and rearrange themselves a moment later. Roxy takes the spot beside Maureen and the two start up a conversation once more.

 

He feels a gaze from another end of the room pull him away from Roxy and his eyes scan the audience until they fall upon Brie Laurens. Sitting front and center with her elbow propped up on the table and her head in her hands, she grins up at him with fascination and approval.

 

 _“It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile. Be yourself no matter what they say,”_ he sings, meeting her gaze as he finishes the verse and launches once more into the chorus. When they reach the bridge of the song, he slowly begins his way down the steps at the center of the stage and into the audience. When he gets to the last line of the bridge, he turns and offers out a hand to Brie Laurens and sings it straight to her as she takes it. _“At night a candle's brighter than the sun.”_

 

It takes them less than a bar to reach the stage once again, and when they do Eggsy decides to utilize those ballroom dancing classes that had been a part of his training.

 

The band is roaring behind them and Eggsy twirls Brie about and dips her. The crowd cheers loudly. Typically, this is where the band would change the beat up and allow the drums a brief solo before the third verse, but Eggsy discretely motions to the band to repeat the interlude so he has a few more bars.

 

Brie is, as Eggsy figured, a marvelous dancer. They sweep across the stage gracefully, fluidly. And Eggsy’s rather enjoying himself for a moment until a gunshot rings out. He immediately grabs Brie and pulls her into his arms and turns her away from the point the gunshot likely came from, shielding her from any further gunfire. And then he looks back over his shoulder to see who the _fuck--_

 

He catches a glimpse of a woman in the very back of the room standing with loaded pistol in her hands raised at the stage. At _him_.

 

 _“Eggsy, get the_ **hell** _out of there!”_ Merlin shouts into his comm. Merlin sure as shit doesn’t have to tell him twice!

 

The women fires another shot and misses, but it was closer for sure this time. Eggsy scrambles to his feet, pulling Brie up with him. “Run!” He tells her, shoving her toward backstage and out of harm’s way.

 

“ _Fucking_ \--!” Eggsy swears as he races off the stage, too, hissing when he finally makes it behind the curtain and sees he’s been grazed in the arm. At least the damage is minor compared to what it might’ve been given that his suit is bulletproof.

 

“Christ, I can’t believe the _nerve_ of her!” Brie frustratedly cries out from where she has appeared beside him, a bit breathless and a bit frazzled but otherwise unscathed. Club goers scream and panic in the distance.

 

“What?” He turns to stare at her confusedly. Well, the confusion is fake. He’s already pieced most of this unexpected turn of events together, but he can’t let Brie know that.

 

“Maureen. This has Maureen’s damn name written _all_ over it!” Again, she must see the look he’s giving her, wide and wild eyes trying to discern what’s happening--he’s just an innocent singer, after all. A stand-in, at that!--and so she endeavors to explain. “An ex-lover of mine. Despises me now. Never wants to let me have a _single_ chance at happiness! I’m sure she was here for something else, but when she saw _you--_ well, when she saw _you_ with _me_ \--she knew I was angling for you and decided to try and snatch you away before I even had the chance!” She explains, crying out in frustration.

 

“Jesus fu--”

 

 _“Keep running, Eggsy!”_ Roxy commands from the discrete comms in his ear.

 

A second later he hears heels coming up the steps of the stage, and so he shoves Brie out the stage door. “Run!” he orders, following right behind her. It would seem Maureen--or her hired gun, more likely--is following after them.

 

This was _not_ how he imagined this mission going. At all.


End file.
